No, I don't have anything to add!
(Except for, eugh, everything).
How many times have you decided not to speak up at work?
Not to voice an objection in case of push-back?
Not to call out bad behavior for fear of retribution?
Not to add your idea because "they've probably already thought of it"?
We're depriving the teams around of us of excellent insight, ideas, and knowledge when we purposely hold back.
If any of this feels familiar to you, don't despair.
We are all icebergs, but sometimes some of the stuff below the surface definitely deserves to see daylight.
🧊 What if your idea could help change the trajectory of a project for the better?
🧊 What if your question clarified something that everyone else was unsure of?
🧊 What if standing up for a value helped everyone else feel more free to do the same?
The voices of self-doubt can be so loud, but usually if you're paying attention, the thing you want to say is likely really valuable to others. Next time you hear one of these, think about how speaking up might benefit the team, the project, or yourself.
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This week's Dear Kate
Dear Kate
I like your idea of the powerful/likeable binary but I find it especially hard to be powerful, likeable but also somehow non-threatening in a very hierarchical, male-dominated workplace. Thoughts?
Natalie
Dear Natalie,
Such a great question and one that doesn’t have one cookie-cutter answer, unfortunately.
A combination of warmth and a sense of humor can help defang people who perceive a threat in you, but again, your mileage might vary, depending on the personalities involved.
Recently I posted that when “excellence enters the room, mediocrity gets furious" and I suspect you might be up against that a lot in your workplace.
The reason you’re perceived as a threat is that you’re likely really good at what you do, and maybe even better than the aggrieved. (Probably a lot better).
If you have to work with this person on an ongoing basis, consider thinking through why they're threatened.
I'm going to talk through threat responses and how to handle them in an upcoming newsletter.
See you next week,
Kate 💫
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