Being a high-achiever patient or How I learned to rest
Communicating your need for rest.
“Be a high-achiever patient”.
This is what an anesthetist told me once after a major surgery.
She looked at me and said, “I know you *think* you heard the part about resting, but you must rest. I don’t want to see you back in hospital next week because you went home and rearranged your pantry, and we have to do a corrective surgery.”
I was shocked.
Not because she was so forthright but because I had absolutely planned to rearrange my pantry on my sick leave.
Instead, her reframe of being a “high-achiever patient” struck something in me.
I was going to be the best at recovery ever!
I would rest harder and better than all those other post-operative chumps!
I was going to sleep and lie around and stay on top of my pain meds better than anyone in the history of surgery!
And reader, I did.
I recovered slowly and with strength and didn’t look back.
I think of this phrase and reframe a lot.
Sometimes to get better, we really have to concentrate and work on not doing the thing, in order to thrive.
If something helps you look after yourself, but you’re finding it hard to prioritize, think about being a high-achiever self-carer or whatever it is, and maybe it’s more familiar to put your energy in that direction.
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This week’s Dear Kate
Dear Kate,
My manager (and my wife) both say I am resistant to hearing feedback. They're probably right but I can't seem to change that. How can I signal that I'm listening to it, even though I don't like hearing it?
-Shruthi.
Dear Shruthi,
My friend, you are not alone in disliking what I assume is constructive feedback. (Most people delight in positive feedback!).
It may be that the framework in which it's given is not to your liking - or it may be that you don't like hearing it, period.
If the former, maybe a useful conversation could be: here's how I like to receive feedback. When it's (for e.g.) timely, specific, with an example, and the impact it's having on you.
That way I get the right amount of context and can see why it's affecting you negatively and choose to course-correct.
Good luck and go get 'em!
See you next week,
Kate 💫
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